Do you ever have a job that you just f%ing hate? And yet you work there because it's adjacent to a dream — something else you’d rather be doing. So you suffer through the shitty job because it gives you a tiny thread of something that's more awesome. In 2005, that was me. I worked for Xbox customer service. Specifically, I was the guy you’d call if your Xbox was broken or you couldn't connect to the Live service — and believe you me, in 2005, there were a *lot* of broken Xboxes. Oh goddamn, was it awful. The Three Rings of Death. If you were around in the 2000s and bought yourself a new Xbox 360, you know full well what I’m talking about. That shit was rough. Telling someone who just spent hundreds of dollars on an Xbox 360 that they couldn’t get it repaired because it was out of warranty just completely sucked. And I need to tell you—at first, the warranty for Xbox 360s was *90 days*. Ninety. Days. Later on, they extended it to a year, because goddamn those Xbox 360s broke down like crazy. And eventually, Microsoft did the right thing and said, hey, if your Xbox had the Three Rings of Death, we’ll repair it or get you a new one. But that was much later. Working on the Xbox 360 right after lunch? It was hell. Dealing with those repairs was hell. And I specifically remember Christmas of that year—how many people I had to hear say their Christmas was wrecked because of that issue. Now—there was *one* good thing about that job. Something that kept me there way longer than I should’ve stayed. And in hindsight, it is just so goddamn stupid that I stayed because of this. But—before the day started, during breaks, and after work, I got to play video games. Basically, I got to play Xbox’s greatest hits. Goddamn there were a lot of them. And as much as I hated dealing with customer service and the broken hearts that came with it, oh my God—Microsoft had some *killer* games. I’m not gonna go on and on about them, but there was *one* game in particular that I completely loved. My heart belonged to it. *Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved.* This game was something special. Let me tell you what actually made it special to *me*. You see, in the 2000s, we were still kind of in that era where everything had to be 3D. And if it wasn’t 3D, and it was 2D, it had to be an evolution of the whole 16-bit thing. *Geometry Wars* came along during a time when most gamers had forgotten about '80s arcade games. Early-‘80s stuff — arcade games that came out between like 1975 to 1985. In hindsight, that was the golden age. And arcade games from that era? Massively different from what came after. Back then, a lot of games were space-themed. Single screen. Cheap thrills. The kind of thing where you’d put in a quarter and *boom*, instant action. No tutorials. No long-winded cutscenes. No crazy overarching story that took hundreds of hours. Just *go*. It was balls-to-the-wall madness. And like I said, in the 2000s you were either playing wild 3D games—you know, *Metal Gear Solid*, *Ratchet & Clank*, *Halo*—or you were playing what I call “fancy 2D games.” Like *Castlevania: Symphony of the Night*. Maybe, if you were a PC gamer, you’d play isometric stuff like *Diablo* or *Warcraft*. And I’m not ragging on those games. I *love* those games. But nothing scratched that old arcade itch. And I’m not the kind of person who thinks that just because something is old, it’s not enjoyable. Goddamn—if that were true, then everything would just be a time-based novelty. All about some urge to stay “with it.” *Geometry Wars* came out during that time. But what really set it apart? It made the most of the Xbox 360’s dual analog controls. And it felt *amazing*. You moved with the left stick. You shot with the right. It felt intuitive. Fresh. That 360-degree movement—it felt like piloting a spaceship. My thumbs just *got it*. It felt natural. But what really impressed me were the graphics. The geometry in *Geometry Wars*? Yeah, it was real. This game looked like it was made on graph paper. Everything sat on a grid. Simple shapes — but with lighting effects that *shimmered*. That shimmer made it stand out. You gotta understand, flat panel TVs were just starting to appear. So on an LCD? This looked like *magic*. The light bloomed. I think that’s where the term bloom effect comes from—how it *blooms*. And the wobble—when your ship would move and there’d be explosions, or those little black holes—the whole grid would start to warp. It felt like you were about to cross into another dimension. But you never did. It was just a *threat*. That’s something I always loved about *Geometry Wars*. It wasn’t a triple-A game. Kinda indie. But not really. It was developed by Bizarre Creations—the same people who made *Project Gotham Racing*, which was an Xbox 360 classic. *Geometry Wars* started as a side project. Just a little arcade minigame you could play inside the *Project Gotham* garage. And that little minigame got so popular, it spun off into *Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved*. But here’s the part that makes me feel dumb. This wasn’t a massive game. It was ten bucks. You could get it on Xbox Live Arcade. And yet... I stuck with that shitty minimum wage job—where there was no career advancement, no future—for *two years*. Maybe more. Just to keep playing *Geometry Wars* at work. And it wasn’t just about the game. I could’ve bought an Xbox 360. I could’ve played at home. But there was something about going to work, seeing my coworkers. We’d have this stressful, horrible job that none of us liked—and in between, we’d compete. Try to beat each other’s high scores. And in some ways, I miss that. I miss that moment. Because guess what? Now I own thousands of games. But I don’t have coworkers. I don’t have anyone I see every day. And I’m definitely not playing video games with friends. Do people my age—I’m in my 40s now—do we even *play* video games anymore? What do we even *do*? I don’t know. I’m so disconnected from having a social life. I wish people my age still made friends. I wish there was a place where you could bullshit for a couple hours a day, have a good time, knock out a few challenges. Get that little hit of arcade glory. But nobody does that. Everyone’s so serious about their goddamn mortgages. 20 years ago, I had a shitty job. But I also had *people*—people who gave me a few rounds of *Geometry Wars*. And that was enough to keep me there. At least for a while. I’m gonna be real here: sometimes I wish I could have that *Geometry Wars* moment again—without the soul-destroying minimum wage job attached. But I’ll tell you something. I still play *Geometry Wars*. Occasionally. And yeah, the memory’s bittersweet. But it’s sweet enough that I keep playing it.
Expand the review