Congratulations, esteemed consumer! You’ve made not the best choice, but a choice, one that aligns perfectly with corporate interestd by purchasing The Outer Worlds, a game so packed with potential you might almost forget your everyday life is sliding further each day into a post-capitalist techno-feudal dystopia. Make choices that matter, all while the housing market is dominated by faceless investment companies and your livelihood depends on the whims of adorably endearing corporate overlords. The development cycle was so short you might as well call it The Outer Worlds: Now With Less Cooking Time Than Your Average Fallout: New Vegas Mod. At Obsidian, they cut corners so you don’t have to. Eye-Candy for Your Hard-Earned Dollars Did you know? The Outer Worlds was designed by Obsidian using the Unreal Engine 4. And while Auntie Cleo’s products are better than nature, Unreal 4 is definitely better than Bethesda’s Creation Engine, or at least the venerable Gamebryo Engine. Customers repeatedly remark how “visually appealing” (note to self: its spelled appealing not appaling) the game is: a kaleidoscope of retro-futurism that draws you into a whacky space Wild West. Get carried away by vibrant environments, from quirky alien landscapes on distant star systems to… well, if you’d rather not, just deactivate motion blur and chromatic aberration in the graphics menu. Overall, the graphics have been cited as “beautiful” and “a major draw” by fellow consumers like you, even if some assets feel repetitive. But we prefer to call this epizeuxistical repetition: a word we had never heard before either, until we made it up. And all of this is possible thanks to the power of Unreal Engine 4. Some people complain this engine comes with its “typical drawbacks.” But if you enjoyed The Outer Worlds, instead of calling it frame drops, stuttering, texture pop-in, or graphical crashes, you’ll call it a they problem. Because they are playing on a potato. Several patches, by the way, have already increased stability and reduced customer dissatisfaction directed toward the technological aspects of the graphical presentation by a precise and verifiable 23.4%. Choice at a Discount The Outer Worlds, a game so carefully engineered that even its flaws come pre-packaged with disclaimers. At Obsidian, we believe in offering you not the best mechanics, but mechanics that exist, and in most cases, function just enough to justify your purchase. Customers often remark on the humor and creativity baked into dialogue and quest structures. Why settle for one combat style when you can dabble in several, all equally underwhelming in their own unique ways? Whether you prefer to shoot enemies in the face, sneak awkwardly behind them, or convince them with the power of “Lie” that you are, in fact, a trustworthy janitor, The Outer Worlds delivers at least three options for any given problem. That’s two more than real life! Built on the noble traditions of Deus Ex, Prey, System Shock, and Dishonored, this product guarantees you a curated selection of immersive-sim-lite objectives. At least three solutions per problem, exactly as advertised. Is the balance between these approaches questionable? Certainly. But remember: variety is the spice of life, and also the cheapest way to stretch content. Combat: Pew Pew, or Don’t The shooting has been widely reviewed as “serviceable,” “floaty,” and in some cases “existing.” The melee combat option is available too, though many players report it as roughly as satisfying as filing tax paperwork. Fortunately, Obsidian Entertainment offers Tactical Time Dilation™, our legally distinct version of Bethesda’s V.A.T.S.; to slow things down and make every bullet feel like a corporate-approved decision. Is it derivative? Yes. Does it work? Sometimes. Does it matter? You’ve already paid. Enemies may feel a little bullet-spongey at times, but that’s just our way of ensuring maximum value: the more bullets you use, the more fun you must be having. If combat feels repetitive, that’s not a bug, it’s a feature designed to simulate the repetitive grind of real corporate labor! Stupid Numbers and Statistics? We got You! RPG Systems now Simplified for Your Convenience Our RPG mechanics are streamlined, not shallow. At Obsidian Entertainment, we save you the burden of complex decision-making by limiting meaningful variety. Create your character with the classic pillars of Body, Mind, and Personality; because we know you’re not here for nuance. Attributes range from –2 to +5, but don’t worry: equipment rarely changes them, so you can safely ignore the system after character creation. Skills such as Persuasion, Hacking, Sneaking, or Ranged Weapons unlock special features, like shooting kneecaps in slow motion or hitting things harder with a stick. Critics have described these unlocks as everything from “mildly useful” to “why does the Lying skill scramble robots?” But remember, we don’t sell consistency; we sell character progression, and lots of it! Perks? We’ve got them. Are they balanced? Absolutely not. Do they open up diverse builds? Of course not. But they exist, and that is more than we can say for some of your workplace benefits. The Narrative and Me At the heart of The Outer Worlds lies its true strength: writing. Customers agree the satire is strong, sometimes so strong it flattens everything else in its path. Witty banter, log entries, and quests filled with corporate doublespeak create a world so drenched in irony you might drown in it. Some say the story lacks depth. We say: depth costs extra. Your companions, like Parvati, may feel underdeveloped, but they’re charming enough to simulate friendship while still leaving you plenty of free time for your real job. Two companions at a time keep the party manageable, because who has the budget for more voice lines? Endorsement While The Outer Worlds may not be the sprawling RPG sandbox some hoped for, it condenses itself into a curated, vignette-driven experience. Yes, it was made on a tight budget. Yes, development time was short. And yes, people compare it unfavorably to Fallout: New Vegas. But remember: nostalgia is just another competitor in the marketplace of fun. In the end, The Outer Worlds succeeds in what matters most: delivering a pulp-flavored, space-western satire that is unmistakably seasoned with Obsidian’s trademark spice. Is it perfect? Of course not. But perfection is not profitable. You’ve tried the best. Now try the rest. It’s not the best choice it’s Spac... Obsidian Entertainment
Expand the review