The Procession to Calvary on Steam - User reviews, Price & Information
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Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvary is a Pythonesque adventure game made from Renaissance paintings, and a spiritual successor to the critically acclaimed Four Last Things.
The Procession to Calvary is a dark comedy, funny and medieval game
developed by Joe Richardson
and published by Akupara Games.
Released on April 09th 2020 is available on Windows, MacOS and Linux
in 5 languages: English, French, German, Spanish - Spain and Portuguese - Brazil.
It has received 1,106 reviews of which 1,079 were positive and 27 were negative resulting in an impressive rating of 9.2 out of 10. 😍
The game is currently priced at 9.49€ on Steam, but you can find it for 0.67€ on Eneba.
The Steam community has classified The Procession to Calvary into these genres:
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System requirements
These are the minimum specifications needed to play the game. For the best experience, we recommend that you verify them.
Windows
- Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
- OS *: Windows XP
- Processor: 2 GHz - Dual Core
- Memory: 2 GB RAM
- DirectX: Version 10
- Storage: 1 GB available space
MacOS
- OS: Mac OSX 10.7
- Processor: 2 GHz CPU
- Memory: 2 GB RAM
- Storage: 1 GB available space
Linux
- OS: Ubuntu 14.04 / SteamOS
- Processor: 2 GHz - Dual Core
- Memory: 2 GB RAM
- Storage: 1 GB available space
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User reviews & Ratings
Explore reviews from Steam users sharing their experiences and what they love about the game.
Excellent point-and-click adventure where a soldier continues her holy mission to hunt down Heavenly Peter, now in a time of peace, refusing to accept the end of the holy war. This is the second part of a planned trilogy, following Four Last Things, and it keeps the same surreal and ironic style. The game is full of absurd humor, sometimes a bit acid when it comes to Catholicism and the Church, so some people might feel offended. It also includes coarse language that reinforces its irreverent tone. The puzzles are generally well designed, except for one that gives a misleading hint which makes the solution more confusing than helpful. Among them, the funniest puzzle involves a metronome, a roasted man, and snuff tobacco, delivering one of the most unexpected and hilarious moments of the game. All graphics are made using Renaissance paintings, animated in bizarre ways, and the soundtrack is entirely classical music of that era. The whole style is very different from anything you’ve seen before, and as I already said in the review of the previous game, strongly reminiscent of Monty Python’s Holy Grail animated interludes. The game offers three different endings that are easily unlockable, although they require replaying the adventure a couple of times. If you liked the first game, just like it happened to me, you will definitely enjoy this one, but if you didn’t, this one won’t change your mind either It includes achievements and also features collectible trading cards.
The Procession to Calvary, developed and illustrated by Joe Richardson and published by Akupara Games, is a point-and-click adventure that stands out not just for its unique visual style but also for its irreverent sense of humor and unconventional narrative structure. Drawing entirely from Renaissance-era paintings, the game crafts a surreal and often absurd world where classical art is turned on its head, brought to life with bizarre animations, satirical writing, and a heavy dose of British wit. It's a title that feels as much like a work of experimental theatre or an interactive Monty Python skit as it does a traditional video game, and that’s part of its strange and magnetic charm. Set in a fictionalized land recovering from a holy war, the story begins with the player taking control of a battle-hardened, unnamed female warrior. Having grown fond of bloodshed during the conflict, she is frustrated to learn that peace has now been declared. Still craving violence, she receives special permission from the new ruler, Immortal John, to embark on a quest to track down and kill the fleeing tyrant Heavenly Peter. This premise sets the stage for a journey filled with dark humor, grotesque comedy, and philosophical musings on morality, art, and the futility of violence. While the plot itself is intentionally loose and ridiculous, it’s threaded with thematic undertones that give the game more depth than its absurdity initially suggests. The gameplay adheres to the classic point-and-click structure. Players interact with the world through contextual icons—talking, picking up items, combining inventory objects, and solving puzzles to progress. However, what elevates this familiar formula is the way the puzzles are embedded within a highly stylized visual and tonal framework. Everything in the world is assembled from classical paintings, from background environments to characters and objects. It’s like walking through a museum curated by someone with a deeply twisted sense of humor. The juxtaposition of solemn, sacred imagery with the game’s ridiculous dialogue and crude jokes creates a uniquely jarring—and often hilarious—experience. A standout feature of The Procession to Calvary is its approach to problem-solving. While many puzzles follow traditional logic, players are frequently given the option to bypass obstacles through brute force—specifically, by simply killing the person or obstacle in their way. This mechanic introduces a layer of ethical ambiguity that’s rarely explored in comedic games. Choosing violence can speed up progression, but it also affects the game’s ending and adds a persistent tension to each choice. It’s a clever narrative device disguised as a joke, one that mirrors the protagonist’s own unchecked bloodlust and questions whether the player is any better. Visually, the game is unlike anything else in its genre. Every frame is a collage of classical artworks from artists such as Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo, and others, stitched together with modern sensibilities and purposefully awkward animations. Characters glide unnaturally across the screen, heads spin unnervingly, and limbs flap in unsettling ways. It’s both hilarious and grotesque, making every screen a painting come bizarrely to life. The soundtrack, made up of carefully selected classical compositions, perfectly matches the aesthetic while enhancing the game's surreal and often contradictory tone. In terms of pacing and content, the game is relatively short—lasting around three to four hours for most players. While some may see the brevity as a drawback, the condensed experience works in its favor. The game doesn’t overstay its welcome, delivering its satirical punches with precision. Still, there are moments of backtracking and mild pacing issues, particularly when moving between scenes in search of obscure puzzle solutions. Because there’s no fast travel system, the process of trial-and-error can occasionally feel tedious, especially if you overlook a small interactable object or miss a subtle visual cue. The humor is, without a doubt, divisive. It’s vulgar, self-aware, and often irreverent toward religion, politics, and art history. Some jokes land brilliantly, especially when they cleverly subvert expectations or break the fourth wall, while others can feel like low-hanging fruit. The writing is dense with puns, non-sequiturs, and parody, and while it won't appeal to every player, those who appreciate absurdist comedy will find much to enjoy. Importantly, the game never pretends to take itself seriously, and its tonal consistency—despite how chaotic it can get—is one of its strengths. Ultimately, The Procession to Calvary is a rare example of a game that blends traditional adventure mechanics with bold artistic direction and unapologetically dark comedy. It’s a game that invites laughter, confusion, discomfort, and occasionally even introspection. While it might not satisfy players looking for complex puzzles or a deep narrative arc, it offers a creative and often brilliant experience that pushes the boundaries of what point-and-click adventures can be. It’s weird, it’s wild, and it’s wonderfully unique—an interactive art piece that deserves attention for its fearless commitment to its own peculiar vision. Rating: 10/10
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Frequently Asked Questions
The Procession to Calvary is currently priced at 9.49€ on Steam.
No, The Procession to Calvary is currently not on sale. You can purchase it for 9.49€ on Steam.
Yes, The Procession to Calvary received 1,079 positive votes out of a total of 1,106 achieving an impressive rating of 9.18.
😍
The Procession to Calvary was developed by Joe Richardson and published by Akupara Games.
Yes, The Procession to Calvary is playable and fully supported on Windows.
Yes, The Procession to Calvary is playable and fully supported on MacOS.
Yes, The Procession to Calvary is playable and fully supported on Linux.
The Procession to Calvary is a single-player game.
No, The Procession to Calvary does not currently offer any DLC.
No, The Procession to Calvary does not support mods via Steam Workshop.
No, The Procession to Calvary does not support Steam Remote Play.
Yes, The Procession to Calvary is enabled for Steam Family Sharing. This means you can share the game with authorized users from your Steam Library, allowing them to play it on their own accounts. For more details on how the feature works, you can read the original Steam Family Sharing announcement or visit the Steam Family Sharing user guide and FAQ page.
You can find solutions or submit a support ticket by visiting the Steam Support page for The Procession to Calvary.
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Additionally, we incorporate data from the SteamSpy API, which offers insights into game sales and player statistics. This helps us present a comprehensive view of each game's popularity and performance within the gaming community.
Last Updates| Steam data | 05 June 2026 00:36 |
|---|---|
| SteamSpy data | 10 June 2026 22:41 |
| Steam price | 13 June 2026 12:27 |
| Steam reviews | 13 June 2026 11:58 |
If you'd like to dive deeper into the details about The Procession to Calvary, we invite you to check out a few dedicated websites that offer extensive information and insights. These platforms provide valuable data, analysis, and user-generated reports to enhance your understanding of the game and its performance.
- SteamDB - A comprehensive database of everything on Steam about The Procession to Calvary
- SteamCharts - Analysis of The Procession to Calvary concurrent players on Steam
- ProtonDB - Crowdsourced reports on Linux and Steam Deck The Procession to Calvary compatibility
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Game modes
Features
Online players
8
Developer
Joe Richardson
Publisher
Akupara Games
Release
09 Apr 2020
Platforms
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