Bart: Come on, Mom. Lisa: Yeah, Mom. Hurry up. Marge: All right. Mmm. How about "he"? Two points. Your turn, dear. Homer: Hmm. How could anyone make a word out of these lousy letters? Oh, wait. Here's a good one. "Do." Lisa: "Id." Triple word score. Homer: Hey, no abbreviations. Lisa: Not I.D., Dad. "Id". It's a word. Bart: As in, "This game is stup-id". Homer: Hey, shut up, boy. Lisa: Yeah, Bart. You're supposed to be developing verbal abilities for your big aptitude test tomorrow. Marge: We could look this "id" thing up in the dictionary. Homer: We got one? Marge: I think it's under the short leg of the couch. Lisa: "Id: Along with the ego and the superego, one of three components of the psyche." Homer: Get outta here. [Bart, however, hates the game, so he cheats and makes up an imaginary word, “Kwyjibo”.] Bart: My turn. "Kwyjibo". K-W-Y-J-I-B-O. 24 points, plus triple word score (making it 72), plus 50 points for using all my letters (making it 122). Game's over. I'm outta here. [Before he leaves, Homer roughly grabs Bart.] Homer: Wait a minute, you little cheater. You're not going anywhere until you tell me what a "kwyjibo" is. [Bart eventually defines it.] Bart: "Kwyjibo". Uh--A big, dumb, balding, North American ape, with no chin. Marge: And a short temper. Homer: I'll show you a big, dumb, balding ape! [This causes Homer to become instantly angered and chases Bart out of the room. Breaking the table in the process.] Bart: Uh-oh. Kwyjibo on the loose! [The next day before class, in the schoolyard, Bart is spray-painting graffiti that defames Principal Skinner on the school building. Principal Skinner is watching the kids on the playground.] Principal Skinner: You there. No chewing gum on school grounds. In the trash can with it. [Martin Prince, the school genius, tattles about the graffiti.] Martin: Principal Skinner, one of my fellow children is vandalizing school property. Principal Skinner: Oh? Where? Martin: Over there, sir. See? [Milhouse, one of Bart's friends, sees Martin informing Skinner and warns Bart.] Milhouse: Look out, Bart. Here comes Skinner. Bart: Yikes! [Skinner arrives, where Bart, Milhouse, and two more children are feigning their involvement.] Principal Skinner: Hmm. Whoever did this is in very deep trouble. Martin: And a sloppy speller, too. The preferred spelling of "wiener" is W-I-E-N-E-R, although E-I is an acceptable ethnic variant. Principal Skinner: Good point. Boys, let's see your hands. [He then checks each of their hands, but Bart is caught "red-handed".] Principal Skinner: Mm-hmm. Good. Okay. Simpson? Martin: You might say you caught him red-handed. [Skinner orders Bart to see him after school.] Principal Skinner: Simpson, you and I are going to have a little talk. Bart: Same time, same place? Principal Skinner: Yes. In my office after school. All: Ooh! [As the children file into class, Martin encounters Bart in the classroom.] Martin: Bart, I hope you won't bear some sort of simpleminded grudge against me. I was merely trying to fend off the desecration of the school building. Bart: Eat my shorts! Martin: Pardon? [Mrs. Krabappel hands out aptitude tests to everyone.] Mrs. Krabappel: Now, I don't want you to worry, class. These tests will have no effect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success...if any. [Martin raises his hand.] Martin: Mrs. Krabappel, isn't Bart supposed to face the window, so he won't be tempted to look at his neighbor's paper? Mrs. Krabappel: You're right, Martin. Bart? [A grumbling Bart turns his desk to face the window and the test begins.] Mrs. Krabappel: Remember to visualize the complex problems and relax. The test will start...now! [In an attempt to figure out a lengthy math word problem, Bart tries to quietly read the problem so he can solve it.] Bart: "At 7:30 a.m., an express train traveling 60 miles an hour leaves Santa Fe bound for Phoenix, 520 miles away." Mrs. Krabappel: Shh! Visualize it, Bart. [The visualization turns into a daydream.] Bart: (voice) "At the same time, a local train traveling 30 miles an hour and carrying 40 passengers leaves Phoenix bound for Santa Fe. It's eight cars long and always carries the same number of passengers in each car. An hour later, a number of passengers equal to half the number of minutes past the hour get off, but three times as many plus six get on. At the second stop, half the passengers plus two get off, but twice as many get on as got on at the first stop." Oof! Train Conductor: (in daydream) Ticket, please. Bart: (in daydream) I don't have a ticket. Train Conductor: (in daydream) Come with me, boy. We've got a stowaway, sir. Bart: (in daydream) I'll pay. How much? Martin: (in daydream) Twice the fare from Tucson to Flagstaff minus two-thirds of the fare from Albuquerque to El Paso. Bart: (in daydream) Whoa! [Bart finally comes back to reality.] Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, there are students in this class with a chance to do well. Will you stop bothering them? [Martin has just finished his test.] Martin: He's not bothering me, Mrs. Krabappel. I'm finished. May I go outside and read under a tree? Mrs. Krabappel: Certainly, Martin. [While Bart is still taking his test, he looks out the window to see a smug Martin sticking his tongue out at him. In retaliation, Bart sticks his tongue out and makes faces back at Martin after Martin does the same; Mrs. Krabappel spots Bart making faces and looks out the window to see what Bart is looking at.] Mrs. Krabappel: What are you looking at, Bart? Are those naughty dogs back again? [While her back is turned, Bart, who is seated at the front of the class, reaches over to Mrs. Krabappel's