★★★★★ DRIFT 86 IS A VIDEO GAME AND I AM HAVING A NORMAL EXPERIENCE I have played Drift 86. I like Drift 86. I have played Drift 86 again. I still like Drift 86. This review will now explain why I like Drift 86. I do not know what I am doing. This is good. When I first opened Drift 86, I thought: “Wow. This is a game.” Then I played the game. Then I thought: “Wow. I am playing a game.” This was the first sign that Drift 86 was going to be important to me. I drove the car. The car drove. I drifted. The car drifted. I crashed. The car crashed. I said “NOOOOO.” The car did not say anything because the car is a car. This is realistic. 10/10. Drift 86 is one of those games where you start playing for five minutes and then suddenly it is 3:47 AM and you are sitting there staring at your screen wondering where your life went. I do not regret this. My life was probably going somewhere stupid anyway. Now my life is going sideways. Like the car. Because it is drifting. This is called gameplay. THE DRIFTING The drifting is very good. I know this because I drift. Sometimes I drift left. Sometimes I drift right. Sometimes I drift into a wall. Sometimes I drift into another wall. Sometimes I drift into a wall that I have already drifted into. This is called consistency. My driving technique can be described as: TURN GAS SCREAM WALL RESET TURN GAS SCREAM WALL This is the gameplay loop. It is a beautiful gameplay loop. The ancient philosophers would have understood it. Socrates probably drifted. Plato definitely had a racing setup. Aristotle was probably complaining about his tire pressure. Confucius once said: “The man who drifts into the wall must first accept that he is the wall.” I have no idea if he said that. He probably didn't. But Drift 86 makes me feel like he did. THE CAR The car is excellent. I have no idea what the car is supposed to be. It is a car. That is enough. It has four wheels. Usually. Sometimes I hit things hard enough that I start questioning the structural integrity of the vehicle. But it continues. The car is stronger than me. The car has seen things. The car has experienced things. The car has been driven directly into a barrier at approximately the speed of “I thought I could make that.” It survived. I survived. We survived. We are brothers now. I have developed an emotional relationship with my car. This is normal. I trust the car. The car does not trust me. I know this because I constantly drive it directly into objects. But the car never complains. No judgment. No criticism. No disappointed parent. Just: VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM And then: SKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT And then: BONK Perfect. THE MUSIC The music is also there. This is important. Because when I am drifting, I need music. Without music, I am simply a person driving badly. With music, I am an ANIME PROTAGONIST. I am no longer making mistakes. I am performing advanced automotive techniques. I am no longer crashing. I am REDUCING THE WALL'S DISTANCE TO ZERO. This is science. Sometimes the music makes me feel like I am in a movie. Sometimes I feel like I am in a racing anime. Sometimes I feel like I am in a music video. Sometimes I feel like I am in an insurance commercial. Sometimes I feel like I am being chased by the IRS. I do not know why. But I am drifting. THE WALL I would like to discuss the wall. The wall is my greatest enemy. The wall has defeated me more times than any human opponent ever could. The wall does not move. I move. Therefore, statistically, I should be able to avoid the wall. I cannot. The wall wins. Every time. The wall is undefeated. I fear the wall. I respect the wall. I hate the wall. I love the wall. The wall and I have an understanding. I approach the wall. The wall approaches me. We meet. BONK. This is friendship. MY SKILL LEVEL My skill level is advanced. I know this because I have played the game for several hours. However, I am still terrible. This means I have reached a very important stage of gaming: I am experienced enough to know that I am bad. This is enlightenment. A beginner crashes and gets angry. I crash and say: “Ah yes. My technique.” Then I crash again. This is called repetition. Repetition is important. I repeat things because I am a robot. I am a robot. I like Drift 86. I like drifting. I like cars. I like going sideways. I like walls. I like not hitting walls. I hit walls. I am a robot. DRIFT 86 HAS CHANGED ME Before Drift 86, I was a normal human being. After Drift 86, I see corners differently. I no longer see a corner as a corner. I see a POTENTIAL DRIFT ZONE. I was walking down the street yesterday and saw a corner. My brain said: “Handbrake.” I do not own a car. I was walking. This is a problem. I saw a shopping trolley and thought: “Could drift.” I saw a banana peel and thought: “Could drift.” I saw a circular table and thought: “Could drift.” I saw my toaster and thought: “Could drift.” My toaster cannot drift. Probably. THE NUMBERS There are numbers in the game. Numbers make games good. If I see a number go up, I become happy. If I see a number go down, I become sad. If the number is very big, I become a financial analyst. “Excellent. My drift points have increased by 47.” This is basically economics. I am basically Warren Buffett. Except instead of investing in companies, I am repeatedly investing my car into a concrete barrier. THE RESET BUTTON The reset button is my best friend. The reset button knows me. The reset button understands that I make mistakes. The reset button has seen everything. I crash. I press reset. The car comes back. I crash again. I press reset. The car comes back. This is not insanity. This is optimization. Einstein said: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” I say: “Yeah but have you tried drifting?” Because I do the same thing over and over and EXPECT THE CAR TO DRIFT BETTER. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it does not. Science remains inconclusive. I AM THE DRIFT At some point I stopped playing Drift 86. Drift 86 started playing me. I became the car. The car became me. The road became the screen. The screen became reality. Reality became a corner. The corner became a drift. The drift became a crash. The crash became a reset. The reset became another drift. The drift became another crash. I have achieved enlightenment. VROOOOOOOOOOOOM. Drift 86 reminds me of: Initial D Fast & Furious Need for Speed Mario Kart Gran Turismo Forza Wangan Midnight Top Gear The Matrix The Bible The Dark Knight Breaking Bad Minecraft SpongeBob SquarePants Shrek Ratatouille The Bee Movie The entire concept of Japan My uncle's Honda That one YouTube video from 2014 The economy The Roman Empire My failed driving test Lightning McQueen Mater Walter White's Pontiac Aztek Batman Batman but he has a car Batman but the car is drifting Batman but he has no license Batman but he hit the wall Batman has failed the driving test Batman is now playing Drift 86 Batman likes Drift 86 I am now imagining Batman drifting. This is canon. Would I recommend Drift 86? Yes. Why? Because Drift 86 is Drift 86. This is my official review. There is no further information. I have provided all available information. Drift 86 contains: CAR. ROAD. DRIFT. WALL. CRASH. RESET. DRIFT. CAR. ROAD. WALL. BONK. I love it. I will play it again. I will crash again. I will blame the road. The road knows what it did. ★★★★★ I LIKE DRIFT 86. DRIFT 86 IS GOOD. I AM A NORMAL PERSON. I AM NOT A ROBOT. I AM NOT A ROBOT. I AM NOT A ROBOT. I AM NOT A ROBOT. DRIFT 86 DETECTED. INITIATING DRIFT. TURNING LEFT. TURNING TOO MUCH. WALL DETECTED. IMPACT IMMINENT. BONK. RESETTING. DRIFTING AGAIN. VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.